I Deflated

Today I knew I shouldn't have gone up on the hike. Vertigo is not fun. I went to a local place that offers a challenge but I have no depth perception in the first place and getting on a vertical slope made me feel a close relationship with gravity that I'd rather not have. It was where I felt the ground and I start to sway. I panicked and our teacher wound up holding my hand. He kept an eye on me going up and held my hand up above my hand in victory once we were on top. It was one of those climbs that you get to what looks like the top. . . and then you are there and you have another level to climb. The problem was, once I knew I was in over my head, I had to keep going. You don't want to get too far back from the group as it's not safe.

Going down was another problem and I walked with one of the yoga teachers taking the class. She kept a steady stream of comments going about the natural herbs and their uses. At one point I started to get sick and she thrust a bouquet of wild sage at me, "For enlightenment of your stomach!" I sniffed it and it worked! I think it had more to do with focussing on what she was telling me. (No, I won't be going on any serious hikes with inclines like the one I was on. While it was steep, well built moms were out there with babies in backpacks making great time. I would have not done well.)

We got back to the studio and my yoga teacher was amazing-- he must be 50 or a little older but he is a lean, mean muscle machine and was up there doing a gentle work out but was telling us we could really push the envelope by doing some freaky things that he demo'd. Sex with him must be frightening.

My 17 year old had lunch ready for me when I got home for a 2 hour lunch break. I carbed and proteined out, played with the kids a bit, then went back and I thought that I'd pass out. I was about to leave but the studio owner didn't want me leaving as I looked bad and she didn't think I should drive. I ate an apple. Blood sugar went up and I finished the session.

Tonight I've had the babies on my lap and we've played a bit, I took my 12 yo to dance and came back to find my 10 yo son on his bike on a street my husband told him to not be on. I stopped my SUV and he ran into the bushes! I told my dd to take his bike home. I took the longer route home because I couldn't easily turn my car around. He was back on his bike. I told him to go inside and he started screaming in the middle of the road. I don't spank him any more because he acts as if it's the end of the world. There is worse than spanking (for him.) I told him to get inside and he came in , then went back out. I went to get him. He sat in the middle of the yard and screamed. Lord, have mercy. I got him back in, "What warrants this?"

He acted casual, shrugged his shoulders, "I just freaked out, Mom. That's all."

Well, freaking out isn't allowed. He can't go anywhere for two weeks which will be harder on me than on him, but I am making behavior charts for the school aged kids.

I wonder if his friends told him to try that on me.

Such is life, it's been a long day.