"It's like I was born with bladz on my feet!"

I went shopping today for a cake pan-- I always go by a thrift store first because the prices are better. Basil went to where they have roller blades and shoes and found a pair of "Bladz" that fit. He put them on and I saw him gliding through the aisles, acting as if nothing were amiss. I asked what he had on his feet.

"Oh-- what?!! I still have them on? I forgot! They feel so natural, it's like I was born with Bladz on my feet! May I have these?"

He was so damned charming that I couldn't resist after I looked in my wallet. (they cost $5.) "Sure."

All of a sudden, three other pair landed in my basket-- I had to tell the others to put theirs away. I wasn't ready for four kids to learn to Blade. The hospital doesn't have a punch card or group rates, but if they were all learning, I might as well go down, park in the back, sweep the pavement and let them learn there so we'd be closer to the ER. Princess Cloud pouted and started crying. She is 12. She said, "You always let him get EVERYTHING he wants. You are so unFAIR."

I growled at her, "Life is unfair, kid. Get over it."

Another mother smiled and whispered as if she had a secret, "I never get my children anything unless I get one for each of the kids. I treat my children equally."

Instead of telling her to mind her own business, I told her that she was being lazy if she was that way and that her logic was flawed. I told her that if I treated my kids equally, I'd be letting my 2 year old bike and hold a job and chose my 17 year old's clothes for her. "Go home and tell your husband I said that." (She seemed like someone who'd run everything past her husband. I don't know why. She annoyed me. Why do I attract those women?)

Basil is coordinated and the other three are uncoordinated (Guy,) whiny (Cloud,) and really not into it (Dmitri.) Let Basil get the hang of it, then let the others see what he is doing and learn by watching. Cloud cries if she scrapes her skin, and Guy wears more Bandaids than he has to and tells everyone how bad it was as his sory grows. Dmitri-- his would just sit in the closet. With Basil on Bladz and confident, the others will later get their own.

He just came in a bit ago. He was wearing his helmet and pads and said that had he not been wearing his helmet that he'd have probably fallen and been brain injured and told me of going down a hill the first time. . . Lord, have mercy. He was so casual about how bad it could have been, "So it's a good thing that I listened to you!" (I am not sniffing glue. He really said that.) He'd wind up with a scraped up knee later because he thought he didn't need the pads and came in with his lower leg bloody but assuring me that it was better than it looked.

I must have looked stressed because he looked at me and said I needed a cup of tea, so he made me some Earl Grey and thanked me. I had my tea served in fine china by a guy on roller bladz. Cloud was still mad and while he did nothing to her, he skated past her and she said, "There you go bragging. I can hear what you are thinking.You are laughing at me." I told her about imaginary audiences and that her real life audience was about to send her to her room if she kept it up.

Argh.