A Modern Formula for Republican Politics: Planned or Mere Coincidence?

Ropi & Non-Americans: You cannot care about this. Be back this weekend and I promise that I will write about something else. I am presently sick of the drama surrounding her.

I think that the Great Political Machine has adapted to American Pop Culture and that they are following a time honored formula for keeping the country focused on them. It's like a Republican Movie Formula. Someone else can flesh this out better, but I am a busy person and I don't have much time to write about something that I am annoyed that I am caught up in. Please feel free to send me a note by leaving a message and I will put a link in this article for your post.

The leading movies needed 1) a young inexperienced characters with flaws that help them become better, 2) a wise omniscient character who is earth-bound unless he or she is not, 3) eye candy for the ladies, 4) characters that walk along side the young'un, 5) something to distract the audience and it helps to be annoying. They have to defeat something depicted as scary for which if not defeated all hell will break loose to the destruction of the known world.

Read on!

What They Seek

Republican Political Race: The Residency in the White House (power)

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Get The Powerful Ring destroyed

Star Wars: Destroy the Dark Side

Wizard of Oz: Get to Oz

Harry Potter: Destroy Voldermort

The Wise Old Adviser:

Political Political Race: John McCain

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Gandalf

Star Wars: Obi Wan, Yoda

Wizard of Oz: Good Witch

Harry Potter: Dumbledore

The Nemesis

Republican Political Race: Obama

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Sauron

Star Wars: Darth Vader

Wizard of Oz: Wicked Witch

Harry Potter: Voldermort

Young Inexperienced Star

Republican Political Race: Sarah Palin (Got that, Obama? Don't fall into the trap of calling MY GUV inexperienced! It's a trap!)

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Frodo or Bilbo

Star Wars: Luke Skywalker

Wizard of Oz: Dorothy

Harry Potter: Harry Potter

Side Kicks that Go 'Round with Them:

Republican Political Race: The Immediate Family of Sarah Palin

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: SamWise

Star Wars: Han Solo, Princess Leah

Wizard of Oz: TinMan, Cowardly Lion, Scarecrow

Harry Potter: Ron, Herimone

Annoying Distraction that Plays Critical Role in Success of Inexperienced Star:

Republican Political Race: Pregnant Daughter and Boyfriend (In the state election this was Sean Parnell when she ran for governor.)

Lord of the Rings: Golum, Merry & Pippin

Star Wars: Jar-Jar Binks, C3PO and R2D2 (I'm not dissing R2D2)

Wizard of Oz: To-To, Munchkins

Harry Potter: Malfoy Jr.

Handsome Stallion-- Eye Candy to attract female viewers

Republican Political Race: Either Todd Palin or Levi Johnston-- could we have them both there for the femmes who otherwise are not persuaded to vote for Sarah or McC?

Lord of the Rings: Legolas, Aragorn

Star Wars: Han Solo

Wizard of Oz: not sure

Harry Potter: Luscious Malfoy

Great Quote of Show

Republican Political Race: I hope it's not Sarah's 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling remark. It will probably be Sarah's 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling remark.

Lord of the Rings: "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" (Sam to Frodo) Sam also said that some things are worth fighting for, as Frodo wanted to give up. I can't find it but I cry when it's said.

Star Wars: "No, I am your father." (Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker)

Wizard of Oz: "Close your eyes and tap your heels together three times and think: There's no place like home." (Good Witch to Dorothy.)

Harry Potter: "If you want to know what a man's like, see how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." Sirius Black

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This is what I have so far-- please expand on this! In each movie they travel all over the place and fight battles-- this is what the parties do. The comparisons are many and it would be silly if no one has tapped in on this movie formula that we are used to. I am not crazy about movies so it won't go over well with me.

Here is a decent article on the governor's accomplishments.

Pathetic Hype: The First Daughter with a First Grand Baby

I was not going to write about this but I am anyway. Our governor's 17 year old daughter is pregnant.

On one hand I am happy for the Guv. I am looking forward to grand parenthood but I am happy for the sake of my children who are of child bearing years that I won't be blessed soon. With what the Alaskan court system put my daughters through in a custody battle, they told me that they would have an abortion if they thought they might have to deal with that. Yes, there were times that they wished they'd not been born with what my ex & his lawyer pulled on them.

I think back on my own life and I was pregnant and married at 18 and divorced with 2 kids by the time I was 21. My ex and I were both American Evangelicals (not a denomination-- just a term that I am using for the movement of people who belong to Protestant churches, much less demeaning than Fundies or, "Christian Fundamentalists.") I was on the Sponge which has an 89% effectiveness rate-- too low for a college-bound girl, I think.

The Gov likes abstinence education. Abstinence education is a crock of nonsense; it teaches girls to ride bareback because their hormones are going crazy but they don't want to get birth control because they are good girls. I have a good friend in Israel and she is an Orthodox Jew. They don't need to worry-- starting from an early age, girls and boys are not left alone together. She was raised in Wisconsin and went over there and liked that. She wasn't alone with her husband until after they got married. I like that! Do I think it should be mandated? I think it should be taught; abstinence education doesn't work unless you don't have sex! You have family and participants who are committed to practicing it which means that temptation and opportunity are not issues.

I have no doubt that Bristol will succeed in life. Having a baby this early, she will probably be like a lot of teenagers, myself included, who literally give birth and can bounce in and take a test the next day without hardly studying. Her figure will come back fast and everyone will think she's an au pair. She will graduate from high school, go to college and hopefully like her husband and their love will mature and they will have a long marriage like her mom has with her dad. I hope that the two of them, Levi and Bristol, bring out each others' strengths. Will he be intoxicated with his mother-in-law's job and the fame and pressure that goes with it?

Am I successful? My mom says I am. The woman who was running a company at my age says that my teen pregnancy was fuel for some of my work, and she says that my 9 children are well behaved and fun to be with. My teen pregnancy shaped me-- I didn't become the commercial artist or Christian counselor that I'd hoped to be, living in a condo in San Diego with a yellow Miata and not having sex until I married at 36 ;) , but it didn't define me. I am nothing compared to what she was at my age, but she says that she comes to Alaska to meet her grand kids, not run around and revisit places where she struck business deals.

I think that Bristol being pregnant at 17 hurts her mother's push for abstinence education. It just doesn't work once the hormones hit and you have to be able to monitor them all the time if you honest to God expect it to work until they are 18. One of my kids accused me of just not trusting her. I cackled, "Damn right I don't! You are my daughter!" Later she told me that when they did get some time alone that he was an octopus and she told him that she was glad that he wasn't afraid of having unprotected sex with the daughter of a woman who had conceived her ninth child while on birth control. I trusted my daughter after that, but not the boyfriends, although it did have a good effect on him that things cooled off right away!

"We need a mover and a shaker, not a shake n' baker!"

So everyone has heard! Alaska's governor Sarah Palin has been chosen by John McCain to join him in the race tot he White House. One of my asshole conservative friends who supported John Binkley over her said, "We need a mover and a shaker, not a shake n' baker!" This person said that Sarah should stay home and be a wife and mother. Fuck that. Her parents and in-laws are very supportive of her and she is the first to state that she couldn't do it without her supportive family.

I can tell everyone that she is very down to earth. I have met her-- everyone in The Valley has met her if they have wanted to. My children and I have marched with her in parades. The first time I met her, I'd not been in the Valley for long. I had a sick baby on my shoulder and I was in the store. This nice lady who was ahead of me in the check-out line handed me a tissue and we started talking and she found out that I was new and she asked how I liked being here. It was very benign, and she seemed nice. A year or so later I got an invitation to her birthday party where she was accepting donations. I didn't think much of the picture; I just thought it was nice take my daughters to go see this young looking woman who was running for something. I was pleasantly amused when I saw her and commented on where we'd met and she said we were being moms-- her being mayor meant nothing when I had a sick baby with a runny little nose on my shoulder. (My coat was snotty. That she even got near enough to hand me a tissue speaks volumes of her! Germs avoid her!)

Her children seem unspoiled. Her daughter Bristol wore a t-shirt that said something about her mom running and to vote for her. My kids said they'd do the same for me. When I was growing up in South Anchorage, I knew a lot of children of political people who would have never done that. Her husband is a handsome guy-- I melted looking at a picture of him, Sarah and Baby Van Palin right after he was born. They knew that he had Down Syndrome not long after he'd been conceived-- it's one thing to be pro-life and anti-abortion, but it's another to have a baby with high needs who will grow into an adult with unique needs. (Having seen him, one would understand that he's not one to be sent back! Precious little person! Starshine saw his picture and kissed her finger and touched my monitor screen where his pretty little lips were!)

I kept thinking that McCain would come out at the end and say, "Psych!" and tell us that she isn't running, but she is! I do hope that she wins.

Sarah is an inspiration. My dad died around the time she got elected. Unable to save my dad from cancer, I promised him that I'd finish college and be a doctor. I asked my husband about me finishing school and he said that if Sarah Palin could have four kids and be governor, that surely I could finish college. We've just been talking about me going to Vermont for a low residency master's degree-- as in 24 hours ago. This morning he called me and was laughing saying that it looks like I can with her being able to do DC. . .

I am grateful for what she is giving up to serve her state and her country-- and for what her children and family are giving up, too. She/they may never be without a security detail, there will be few spontaneous camping trips and life as they once knew it will never return. We dream of a life like what she is going in to, but in return for her influence and power, she is giving up something that we Alaskans take for granted.