I have the most wonderful child-- unless she is up to something. . .

With Esme's daughter in crises mode and quite scared about a pregnancy that no one is really worried about having happened, my own daughter has asked me about homeschooling next year so she can spend time doing what really matters to her. She doesn't want me teaching her anything, she has in fact looked online and wants to do a combination of math and science at her local school, and German, history, English, and whatever else she needs to do from home. She can use my help for German, but she says that she has been noting in class how much time is spent learning and actually doing anything and she said that she could get her day done in 2.5 hours if she was doing it alone, and then have more time to study what she wants. One of the things? She asked me to get with the mother's group at her church to find out about religious classes.

She is solidifying with the Catholic faith and told us this evening that she is hence forth crossing herself as a Catholic. Eastern Orthodox shouldn't mind, but they do, but I don't mind and I will lock pointy hats with any priest who wants to make an issue of it.

I played Devil's Advocate with her, and asked about abuses in the church. "Mom, I had nothing to do with those, and you are making a point with your ideas for abuse prevention. Besides, all I can do is to help prevent them from ever happening." She wants to learn more and I have to admit that I am happy for this. There are a few cradle Catholics who are her age who are baffled by her love for a faith they feel has been thrust upon them. (Of course Orthodox are stricter, so she probably feels like a rebel. Her godmother is Catholic and is really excited-- of course she has probably been behind this the whole time, praying for her conversion! There is a lovely church a town over that Esme loves that is a huge cathedral and she is planning her eventual wedding there!)

I know that with time that she will grow closer and then step back, then get closer still. For now I am enjoying her joy with it. This evening she asked what projects I will be doing with the kids for Lent. I was dumbfounded and she asked me, "How will you ever give us warm childhood memories of these holidays if you don't get it right and do them now?" I have always wanted to, but life has been swirling around us. I stammered out that we'll be making a salt dough Crown of Thorns and stick toothpicks in it and every time we do a good deed, we will break one off and throw it away? She liked that and suggested we put it on our Eastern Orthodox Pascha table at my husband's church.

My husband has sweetly agreed to let us do some events at the Catholic church over Lent-- his church isn't doing much as they don't have a priest.

Cloud proceeded to explain to her brothers and sisters what it means to give something up for Lent, and to take on a good new habit. She shouldn't have shared what she wanted to give up because Basil quickly goaded her and got her mad enough to yell at him, and he smirked. I made him put his nose on the wall and he was not that worried about his punishment and said he thought that I should perhaps give up punishing him for Lent!

Weekend at the Prison, Greek and Other Stuff

I just spent the past weekend serving with Kairos at the prison. (This is where Kairos goes.) It was an impressive weekend. I had debated even going. First, last week I started to question why I help people. Why did I? I have other things to do, I felt like I was just questioning my existence. I'm glad that I went anyway.

I was talking to Darin and last weekend was Forgiveness Sunday. Tiger was going to come to church, then the director sent a note to me and I was to talk about forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday. That was seriously cool. At the meeting, I sat at a table with some delightful women from interior Alaska. A lady who works with Kairos but new to Alaska said that she had never liked salmon. All the ladies were curious, "Do you like it half smoked? Do you like it ____--" they asked so many ways in 30 seconds, ways that I had never heard of! Not that I would know a million ways, but I have been up here for over 30 years and you'd think I have heard more ways to cook it! It was cute how the ladies were so crazy for it!

Everyone had great talks on walking the Christian walk.

Last week I had been nervous talking about forgiveness when I was ticked off at a few Kairos women who I work with because. . . when my grandmother died in November, they'd not back off on ordering me to smile (my face went neutral when I was praying for her) and they were just in my face when I was not at the prison with them, but as it was, it gave me great fodder for talking about the topic. (I didn't say that it was with Kairos!) I spoke of how the people we need to forgive most are the ones who we work the most with. I also brought up a taboo subject on forgiving people who had committed crimes that seemed unforgivable. A few weeks ago I was at a book study and we got into a deep discussion on forgiving the mother of Baby Grace and I relayed the story of our conversation. Afterward, I was told that I brought up a topic that needed to be brought up but no one had really discussed. I think that a few ladies who were there for that very reason were welcomed a little more and if I was the reason, it is heartwarming.

I was at the prison chapel service. That was beautiful. A full third of the women came to this and I was moved by the sincerity in their singing. A woman needed to be prayed over, but I cannot divulge why. Trust me, she was hurting. When Mrs. Pastor motioned for me to come pray I looked around to see if she was talking to me-- I'd never prayed over someone before like that. When I was Protestant I went to these, and they seemed contrived and not real. Everyone tried to pray eloquently, sometimes I heard battles of the prayers-- I didn't rust them. The person didn't speak English that well so I just prayed for her, and I broke into German and my bad French because they seemed right. God knew what I was asking for her. I sent her a note later with the Bible verses from Galatians on the Armor of God and hopefully someone will tell her that I lovingly told her to put it on before she sleeps at night so she won't be so sad.

The pastor there is a sweetheart. Someone told me that he was a Vietnam fighter pilot and I have subconsciously started calling him Captain and referring to him as the Captain. He is an older man, a bit stooped over, but I keep remembering him as being 6' tall even though I have never seen him like that. I have a thing for pilots, but it's not like that. I can clearly see him in my mind as a fighter. His wife is a beautiful lady with pretty eyes and a bright smile. They spend 15 hours a day at the prison, seven days a week most of the time.

I have started studying Greek for an hour a week after Vespers with a Greek speaker. What a beautiful language! My tutor is a fast speaker and thinker. This may be trying, but I like her. When I can speak Greek well enough, I think I will pray in it. Greek is the best language for praying, I think. When it is sung, it is mystical! When it is spoken, it is Heavenly.

"Does Jesus Know about Monkeys?"

My husband and I were discussing the Resurrection of Christ and son Mudd was considering this and asked, "Will the monkeys be there?" We had a very sweet conversation with him about only people being at God's judgment and that while there probably won't be any monkeys there, Jesus loves people who love all the monkeys!

The Prison Ministry

Today I went to my training for a prison ministry. I really like the women who I work with but I find part of it intimidating. I do not get into evangelical praying. It came time for me to pray and I was like, "Oh dear. What do I say?" I was mellifluous and prayed long and loudly. I don't get it. When Orthodox Christians pray, we have some direct prayers. Some are long but I don't think that God gets into long prayers. I felt really silly telling God how great He is and mimicking my fellow attendants by reminding Him of how He parted the Sea and delivered His children from Israel, caused the frog plague on Pharaoh-- the frog plague was cool, etc. and will he please make this successful and bless our guests and bless us, start in on more how great God is, go back into it. It mentally taxing! I really wanted to say, "You keep my car running! You gave us life! Surely this is easier to help us get more money to get this running!" Or. . . simply ask and pray and meditate quietly.

A long time ago a rabbi told me that we pray because even though G-d knows what we need, it's like we are sitting at a table and you need to ask your host for things because he doesn't otherwise know you are hungry. "The fish is delicious! Will you please pass some more to me?" is different from, "Your home is so lovely, you work so hard for this party, you did a great fundraiser last year for the dance ensemble to go to England. . .I just really appreciate. . .and won't you please pass the fish down here?" It sounds like I am making fun of people who pray like this but I am not: for now it is just soooooo uncomfortable. At the next training I will be better.

I get to give a discussion on living as a Christian and keeping the Word in your heart and in your actions and life. As a mother, I pray constantly. The older my kids get, the more faithful I get. I pray in my mind as I cook, I pray when I drive not because I am a bad driver but because there is so much that can go wrong that doesn't. I read my Bible quite often-- both Testaments. I can discuss this pretty easily. The book on this also has tips on what to say. "All the honor of the daughter of the King is within." -Psalm 45:14

We had some political people drop by the house today to ask who we are supporting. I asked about their candidates' support of prison reform and reform on the court system and they said their men would deal with it better than the Republicans which is true.

I mentioned my prison work to several politicians a while back. Would you believe that only the Democrats asked me about it later? It's very frustrating because they actually care about it! This isn't bleeding heart liberal stuff-- I knwo thatmany who are incarcerated should be there, but I think that prisons need to be set up for punishment for the offender but also allowing them to return to their families. Conjugal visits? Yes-- I keep hearing how sexually charged they are and I think that people who have visits with spouses keep the spouses closer and less likely to fool around, and also allow the offenders to get the needed physical touch even if it's just once a month. Of course in the ministry I am not an advocate for the prisons, but my interest has pulled me to this. I believe that voting family members need to connect and form a grass roots effort to get the lawmakers attention and push for reforms. I have spoken to corrections officers who feel the same way, but they have said that they have to keep control at all times so whatever I push for, they need to be able to keep control.

I think that it was Reagan's period when the political parties polarized. Now I think that is changing. I know and respect a local politician who is pro-life and I am proud of his stance. There are a ton of Christian Democrats. Democrats for homeschooling (that need sot be worked on) and Democrats supporting business.

Now that I've rambled, I have to close. I have vespers and I need to study.