More later.
Oh-- Ropi, this is for you!
more cat pictures
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Massage School
I am in massage school. My popularity just went up with my friends and I am loving every minute of it, except that I am exhausted!
More later.
Oh-- Ropi, this is for you!
more cat pictures
More later.
Oh-- Ropi, this is for you!
more cat pictures
Thursday, June 12, 2008
This Gives Me Energy!
Since break,my children have been at each other. I never know what fights to get in the middle of, but I would have to say that 50% are not that serious. Where problems arise, it's usually because they start punching or "accidentally" causing physical pain for one another. If I hear a fight happening, the smartest thing I can do is slip my sandals off and enter the room and quietly watch until the ones in the argument notice that I am there. If I see the fight, they usually take their punishments (be sent to their rooms, do a chore for me, etc.) The problems happen the worst with Princess Cloud who demands that her brother's punishments are not "fair," then she demands that I tell them things. It reminds me of my former mother-in-law. "If he just realized. . ." "Well, you need to tell her. . ." Then a timeout is called, and they frequently don't respond well to it.
I have in the past (like umm, two days ago!) gotten to the point that I swore at them, then a saw a quote in a friend's signature by Einstein stating that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (According to this definition, they were indeed driving me insane.) I explained to the kids how things would work in the future-- mere mention of a push or a shove got both to do a ten minute chore because I didn't know who actually did it. If I saw it, the pusher would get an fifteen minutes of sitting in the car with Dad or I at ball practice or church and I started writing notes to myself to remember!
They are still finding ways to argue, but at the same time, with each new consequence that I have to come up with, they are getting pretty consistent. The babies are more difficult, but they admire their brothers and sister so they want the punishment! Starshine sat with Basil the other day at ball practice just beaming as she'd gotten into the snack cupboard (I got alock for it-- too much temptation and I should've done it YEARS ago.) Basil was embarrassed but also laughing as his littlest sister beamed at him while she sat in alleged disgrace! My husband kept telling her to look contrite so she would (after she learned what she was supposed to do) put her lips together and look down and do ten seconds of frownie face before she giggled!
The other day they were fighting severely. I picked up some pizza fixings and had complete mayhem as we made pizzas. The only catch was, I had a few bake for their nemesis and chief tormentor! They were not creating for each other-- Princess Cloud created a pizza for Guy who created one for Starshine (who is either sweet or causes everyone heck at the same time) and Dmitri created for Calmity Jane, who created for Mr. Mud, etc. At first the ones who were still fuming at their sworn enemies started to create boring pizzas, but the ones who they were least enamored with were happily creating for younger sibs. They all thought that they were just paired and that their person they were creating for was creating for them. The stingy ones saw smiles and started having fun. Peaches came in (she works and is 17-- she kind of fights with Princess Cloud but not as much and she wasn't in the fight.) Well, she wanted to make one for my husband and I so she made Calizones which she called "wedgies" because they looked like wedges. The ones inclined to causing problems are more familiar with another variety of wedgie. They decided to passive-aggressively give the ones they were upset with what Tiger had made. (They'd later brag, "I gave X a wedgie and my mom didn't even care. She said I could do it again!")
They all actually made some good pizzas. I have had a few days of peace-- to a certain degree, of reminding them when they fight, "Be good as you don't know who will be baking your pizza or making you a taco!"
The only thing-- when serving children, you cannot do it on pans directly from the oven. Dmitri kept standing up and I was in an elaborate dance of moving back as his head kept popping up to see whose pizza was being served next. Next time I hope I remember to transfer the food to a room temperature plate!
They soak up so much creativity-- and once you figure out how to prevent a problem, they come up with a new way to cause it but say, "You didn't tell me I couldn't do that." My brother and I were five years apart and we hardly fought. (My sisters are in their late 40's, early 50's and I had little interaction with them.) My dad used principles with my brother and I-- be nice,respect each other's property, but these guys have less space and they share a lot more.
For years I have just whined to my main man, "It was never this way with my brother and me!"Now-- I have finally realized that it couldn't have been this way for him and me. We didn't share rooms, we each had rooms that were like my husband's and my master bedroom in a huge house, we played different sports-- it was just completely different! Of course my husband has been at times limited in his help-- always supportive, but not always helpful. Sometimes he has said the silliest things, "You need to get control!" He is very wise in many things, but this was not one. I had to realize on my own how different things are from what I knew and longed for-- not less kids, but for familiarity. I've spent ten years like Private Benjamin until she accepted where she was, then started doing well. Of course Mr. Einstein (dh) has recently observed, "You seem like you have come out of denial and you are working with the situation instead of how you wish it was!" (He adds that he's very proud of me!) Don't get me wrong-- he makes this possible, but his comments seemed more from a spectator than a fellow athlete in his observations of my parenting!
I have in the past (like umm, two days ago!) gotten to the point that I swore at them, then a saw a quote in a friend's signature by Einstein stating that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (According to this definition, they were indeed driving me insane.) I explained to the kids how things would work in the future-- mere mention of a push or a shove got both to do a ten minute chore because I didn't know who actually did it. If I saw it, the pusher would get an fifteen minutes of sitting in the car with Dad or I at ball practice or church and I started writing notes to myself to remember!
They are still finding ways to argue, but at the same time, with each new consequence that I have to come up with, they are getting pretty consistent. The babies are more difficult, but they admire their brothers and sister so they want the punishment! Starshine sat with Basil the other day at ball practice just beaming as she'd gotten into the snack cupboard (I got alock for it-- too much temptation and I should've done it YEARS ago.) Basil was embarrassed but also laughing as his littlest sister beamed at him while she sat in alleged disgrace! My husband kept telling her to look contrite so she would (after she learned what she was supposed to do) put her lips together and look down and do ten seconds of frownie face before she giggled!
The other day they were fighting severely. I picked up some pizza fixings and had complete mayhem as we made pizzas. The only catch was, I had a few bake for their nemesis and chief tormentor! They were not creating for each other-- Princess Cloud created a pizza for Guy who created one for Starshine (who is either sweet or causes everyone heck at the same time) and Dmitri created for Calmity Jane, who created for Mr. Mud, etc. At first the ones who were still fuming at their sworn enemies started to create boring pizzas, but the ones who they were least enamored with were happily creating for younger sibs. They all thought that they were just paired and that their person they were creating for was creating for them. The stingy ones saw smiles and started having fun. Peaches came in (she works and is 17-- she kind of fights with Princess Cloud but not as much and she wasn't in the fight.) Well, she wanted to make one for my husband and I so she made Calizones which she called "wedgies" because they looked like wedges. The ones inclined to causing problems are more familiar with another variety of wedgie. They decided to passive-aggressively give the ones they were upset with what Tiger had made. (They'd later brag, "I gave X a wedgie and my mom didn't even care. She said I could do it again!")
They all actually made some good pizzas. I have had a few days of peace-- to a certain degree, of reminding them when they fight, "Be good as you don't know who will be baking your pizza or making you a taco!"
The only thing-- when serving children, you cannot do it on pans directly from the oven. Dmitri kept standing up and I was in an elaborate dance of moving back as his head kept popping up to see whose pizza was being served next. Next time I hope I remember to transfer the food to a room temperature plate!
They soak up so much creativity-- and once you figure out how to prevent a problem, they come up with a new way to cause it but say, "You didn't tell me I couldn't do that." My brother and I were five years apart and we hardly fought. (My sisters are in their late 40's, early 50's and I had little interaction with them.) My dad used principles with my brother and I-- be nice,respect each other's property, but these guys have less space and they share a lot more.
For years I have just whined to my main man, "It was never this way with my brother and me!"Now-- I have finally realized that it couldn't have been this way for him and me. We didn't share rooms, we each had rooms that were like my husband's and my master bedroom in a huge house, we played different sports-- it was just completely different! Of course my husband has been at times limited in his help-- always supportive, but not always helpful. Sometimes he has said the silliest things, "You need to get control!" He is very wise in many things, but this was not one. I had to realize on my own how different things are from what I knew and longed for-- not less kids, but for familiarity. I've spent ten years like Private Benjamin until she accepted where she was, then started doing well. Of course Mr. Einstein (dh) has recently observed, "You seem like you have come out of denial and you are working with the situation instead of how you wish it was!" (He adds that he's very proud of me!) Don't get me wrong-- he makes this possible, but his comments seemed more from a spectator than a fellow athlete in his observations of my parenting!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
More Later
I am still around, but I am very exhausted. Summer is the best time of the year-- the kids are playing and enjoying themselves and we are up with longer days.
Oh-- check out the last music video square to the side. It's a man named Alexander Barencey who is singing Best of My Love to his little guy. I cried watching it. The kids wear me out but I love them and if I had a good voice, I'd sing this to my own kids. If you are signed up with Youtube, post him a note. He apologizes to Eagles fans, but I always thought of this song as one for a lover. He just gave it a new dimension with his GREAT voice.
Oh-- check out the last music video square to the side. It's a man named Alexander Barencey who is singing Best of My Love to his little guy. I cried watching it. The kids wear me out but I love them and if I had a good voice, I'd sing this to my own kids. If you are signed up with Youtube, post him a note. He apologizes to Eagles fans, but I always thought of this song as one for a lover. He just gave it a new dimension with his GREAT voice.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
A "I'm the Poster Girl for Planned Parenthood" Post-- Laugh with Me!
The other day my husband got paid and I had to do some shopping. We were low on everything and I took The Boys, DD4 and DS4 (The Boys are DS1-3; DS4 is part of The Babies) with me to the store. DS3 wasn’t feeling too hot so I asked if he wanted to stay home with DD3 and DD5. DS3 said he was fine and wanted to go. I don’t mind leaving DS3 home because he is a cutie bug—he doesn’t usually fight with DD3 when he feels like this. I dropped DD2 off at work and went to SuperShop.
I know that y'all have a sense of humour and surely y'all are aware of mine. Please know that I am finding humour in what I am telling you all about my shopping excursion!
At SuperShop I decided to get snacks from their deli before I shopped. You know how shopping with an empty stomach works—you load up, or rather I load up on easy to make stuff that costs me a fortune because my stomach and brain are saying, “Just get in, get out and get home and eat!” While standing in line, DS3 said in his sweet, stilted way, “I feel. Like I will. Throw. Up.” I asked the deli lady for a bag and told him to go stand outside and to get sick in the bag if he needed to get sick. He’s 8 years old, so a few minutes outside while I got everyone else their “goodins” was OK.
We got through the line (you can’t buy at the SuperShop deli; you must go through a check-out line) and I went to the door and there was a crowd of 20+ women standing around whispering and I looked to see what was happening. A few feet away on the ground, midway between the door and a freaking park bench, was DS3 sitting on the ground, oblivious of the crowd around him, staring into his empty emergency bag and looking all forlorn. I got his attention and he looked at my bags of meals and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea. He was speaking of our “snackins,” (yes, we have our own language) I knew this, he knew this but the other hens did not know this. Security was brought out. They confirmed that all was fine and I was like, “You never sit on the ground in a store, you are not supposed to sit in front of doors. Why did you sit on the ground right out side the door with a bench two feet away?” He said his legs were tired and he didn’t want to walk! I told him to just sit on the bench next time. He never did get sick but he slept all day. (I'm just glad he didn't need to use the bathroom!)
I am glad that someone said something to security because you never know because people have been abducting children since time immemorial and our society recognizes this, but I was still stressed out.
I got him home to DS3 (14) and a fight commenced. She gets a little bossy and he was in no mood to put up with her. I appeased them both (threatened to not let them have pizza with us for dinner!) and left. DS3 slept all day so he must have had something.
We went to SpecialtyShoppe to pick up a few specialty items. DD4 (5) saw the lone unisex public bathroom and indicated that she had to use it by grabbing her crotch in a full Michael Jackson grab at which point DS4 (4) did the same as did DS1 who is 10, but is a bit slow and forgets that he shouldn’t do that—he doesn’t process like most kids do. I calmed them all down while DS2 stepped aside and acted like he didn’t know us. DD4 and DS1 took turns in the bathroom, and DS2 is 9 and pretty cool and helped DS4 in the bathroom. When DS4 came out, I asked DS2 if he had to go and he said no but I told him to try. His eyebrows shot up and went in and locked the door and started grunting! “Uhhhhh! Rrrrrrrrh! This like having a babyyyyy. Ahhhhhh! Oooooh. [Mimicked flatulence with mouth noise.] Yeah. I’m so glad I tried!” People in the store could hear him and the kids were giggling and I was keeping a straight face. He came out and said, “Man, that was tough but I sure am glad that you insisted that I try!” He chortled to himself and I turned my head to laugh and give him a noogie.
We went back to SuperShop. DS2 needed to push a cart with the plants and a 40# dirt bale. I feel bad that I don’t entrust this to DS1—but the store was busy and DS1 gets creative when he goes places, even with a cart: he tries to ride them, pushes them into people, runs and with them, etc. His development is behind. He is not a bad kid by any means but I have to stay a step ahead of him. I just said that it was DS2's turn. (Later, he and I will be at the store alone and I will let him push a cart while I walk with him and pretend I am not paying too close attention while steadying him and slowing him down.)
DD2 called me up at 3 to let me know she got off work early. I said I’d be there at 4. She didn’t understand that my plans were set and got annoyed and asked if I could get her “like. . . right now?” I’d get really annoyed and have to apologize for what I’d say because she had no idea how silly things were.
When I went to get her, she saw that my vehicle was loaded to the windows with foodstuffs and plants around the kids. She apologized to me and asked why I didn't just wait til she got home to do my shopping, but the truth is, I can't stay in a vacuum.
(My husband has the older boys in baseball and it's cute with DS1 because around so-called normal boys, I have decided that while there are always exceptions to the rule of how boys act, my son with special needs isn't much different! His uniqueness is getting more pronounced and it's bugging him and he has been asking me if I wish he was like other kids. I finally told him, "Next time you are at baseball practice and you feel out of place, look around at the other boys and see what they are up to." My husband said that last night he did start watching other kids and was a little surprised-- he saw him smile and shake his head. Two boys on his team were whining, another kid is the poster boy for mood relaxers and was climbing the batting cage-- so what if DS1 doesn't have great muscle coordination or say his multiplication tables well!)
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