The Temperamental Diva is Steaming

The Temperamental Diva is my SUV. Before my husband left on his trip-- I won't go into that. The bottom line is, when a woman says that her car needs to be looked at and her man carries the fucking purse, he'd better take care of it without making an issue of what it will cost, announcing it or whatever.

FORTUNATELY my former lawyer has noted that I have been ignored a few times and have had some near MAJOR PROBLEMS with my vehicles. He told me a couple of years ago that if I ever thought that anything was wrong with my SUV or for that matter, had to tell someone that it was fine to give him a call. The heater quit working last night-- I think it was when the Temperamental Diva heard me talking about Sarah Palin not having the sense to use a flipping thesaurus and she was showing her coolness for the governor, but I'm not sure. Today I pulled up at the house and it was cold out and the car seemed to be steaming, but I thought it was because it was cold. I assured Peaches that it was fine, which made me remember the lawman's warning. He called me a couple of times, I was going out anyway to a coffee shop and I went to see him and I bought FIVE GALLONS of antifreeze. He put antifreeze and water in it.

I'm taking it to the mechanic in the morning and I have a class. So very frustrating, but I was grateful to my former lawyer taking care of me as he did.

Joy Overflowing in My Kitchen! Wheeee!

My husband was off on a business trip and of course, two hours after he left the house, the toilet got clogged with an orange, the ladder to a son's bunk bed broke (thank goodness no body parts were injured as that was happening) the internet box died, and then a bottle of dishwasher soap called "Joy" had apparently been poured into the dishwasher. I was fixing the toilet (clogged with "stuff"-- why must someone use the toilet for an intestinal discharge when it's plugged?) and one of the kids banged on the door. I screeched that I was busy and that they needed to be in bed, then was met with pleading, "You have to come out now. There is Joy in the dishwasher." (This was code for, "And bubbles are coming out all over the place.")

I had been having a hee-hee, crappy day up to that point, but hearing that there was Joy in my dishwasher made me start laughing. "So that's where it is!" I took off my rubber apron and washed my hands, only to discover that the person reporting had not turned it off and bubbles were flowing all over the floor. I started singing, "There is Joy in my dishwasher and Joy in my kitchen! Look how Joy overflows! Wheeeeee!"

The kids had been sleeping but they all came in and when I looked up from blowing mounds of bubbles into the air, they realized that I was also making Joy snow-bubble men. Cloud said to her brothers, "Mom has had a long day. Let's just leave her alone."

I invited them to come play, then turned off the dishwasher and got the salt to pour into it and waited to clean up the mess until after the kids played a bit.

Elana Mizrahi wrote a very sweet article about doing something similar and got me to thinking about the sweetness in life when it seems sour.

I'd been insane with my husband leaving because I get upset about everything falling apart when he goes, but I thought to myself how nice it was to find "something sweet" in the frustration. I went to bed. Under my pillow, in spite of me having been a brat, I found a carton of Pepperidge Farm Milanos and a small book of poems.

She's as full of wind as a corn eatin' horse! (Wink-Wink!)

I watched the debate. Our governor did better than I expected meaning, as Celtic Diva said, she "didn't have a seizure on stage." I am not as embarrassed for her as I was a week ago, but now I feel insulted. She's so perky and she uses words and phrases that she tries to make sound like she's one of us. She's like a second grade teacher who has to play down to the lowest denominator in the class. Every time she speaks, I brace myself for hearing her say: maverick, Washington outsider, maverick, darn, maverick, special needs, maverick, Main Street, maverick-maverick-maverick, Wasilla, maverick, oil companies, maverick, you betcha, maverick, heckeva, maverick and Joe Six-Pack. Oh-- her use of maverick has me wanting to mute her out. Did I say that she says maverick as much as she can? She doesn't speak like a professional! She drops the endings to her words more often than the French do! (In French, the last letter or two in most words are not enunciated.) Oh, and she says "maverick" all the frakking time!

S'palin should have been a theater major which is her True Calling. The past week she has been a dope and then what has been annoying me about her in the past month was endearing 2 years ago. I don't speak like she does on stage-- where does she get off saying that she wants hockey moms and Joe Six Packs to band together? When I helped (minor) on her gub campaign, the constant in the emails was "grassroots." She is the princess of catch phrases, but I didn't notice it back then. She was going for Frank Murkowski's job and he was kind of a jerk so she seemed approachable and friendly.

This annoyed me the most: Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You referenced your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future." That is my ex husband telling me that I shouldn't base his future behavior on his past. VERY annoying. (Later I would give him a second chance in trusting him and he'd say to me, "You knew I did that!" If you think someone is a snake, GTF away from them.) She should have said in her down-home talk, "I aint no baby Bush seed, Joe! Now lookie here, we're different, an' I'm gonna learn you a lesson!" and then explained why.

Do she and McCain sit with advisers and come up with phrases and Joe Six Pack and Judy Soccer Mom will repeat to one another? Will it work? When I studied commercial art, it was annoying to write commercials that average people would repeat to one another, but that was how we got the best bang for the proverbial buck. One of the best ways to advertise to women in the eighties was to have two women talking on the phone. They weren't college professors. They were. . . THE MRS JOE SIX PACKS! I admit that I wrote a few of those. It was not thrilling to hear them on the air.

Joe Biden was decent, but I expected him to be-- I liked that he recognized that McCain was the one to beat, and that he kept Mrs. Palin on the run with what she knew of his policies and he then slammed them. I like that he was a widower-- I don't like that he had been a widower, but I admire that he dealt with it successfully, but I don't think that he gets enough press on this. Why does a woman who has a son with special needs and more help than you can ever imagine get sympathy, while a man who saw his wife and daughter die in a tragic car accident hardly get press on it? His kids were older and I think that he probably struggled as much as any single parent of either gender.

The thing is, Ms. Palin is appealing to the common person and people who want to feel like they are downtrodden. Are there enough smart people out there to identify more with Joe Biden? It's a boon to McCain-Palin that Sarah is being mimicked by Tina Fey and that we joke about her phrases and comments. It's free publicity. No one is quoting Joe Biden or Barack Obama and I think that this could hurt the Democratic party if people are as dumb as the Republicans think they are. I will support the Republicans if they win, but I am not impressed with them and 4 years of winks and evasion does not inspire me. I am terrified of having a Democratic House, Senate and Executive Branch, just as I would be if it was all Republican. McCain-Palin make it hard for me to like them enough to vote for them. I am a hockey mom, but I don't want to band together with Joe Six Pack: I want to band together with the wisest leader.

I do not like having to make decisions about my life

I came to a conclusion that I need to get a MA in Education. There is no job that is as flexible with me needing summers and breaks off, with parts of them being dedicated to school, but still being able to be close by or take a kid or two with me if I must when at in service days. The only problem with this is that no one who knows me thinks that I would be a good teacher! I see it as a way to allow me to use my English degree and pay of student loans. My husband is worried because my own kids with petty bickering have me weary in minutes of their returns home from school. Tiger said that she can think of me being many things but that teaching high school is not one of them. When I have described the Waldorf education program they agree that it sounds great-- but there are few places who do it!

I had thought that massage would be a great way to earn money and work my hours and I love doing it, but that is not to be.

My husband wants me to pursue writing as a career and do an MFA. The problem with that? As soon as you put deadlines on me, I get writer's block. I cannot do my art unless I am inspired; I found out last semester that a deadline for a painting makes me hate it. Had I not been writing to a very wonderful person who still inspires me, I'd have flunked the class. I don't aspire to be a great writer any more because it's a hobby, not a way of life. I am a bit muddled as to why he'd want me to write when we are tight with money. The income isn't steady in the least.

Anyway, I am back to me drawing board. I thought I'd figured it out.

My Governor Embarrasses Me

When I was in high school, I stuttered but wanted to be on the debate team. I was not very good initially because I had a speech impairment and it exacerbated and got worse and I forgot things. Keep in mind that I was 15. By the end of the semester, I'd improved and learned to answer questions and keep a cool head. I was never very good because I liked the audience working with me and laughing. Sometimes I would pull Sarah routines as a joke, but they were not yet Sarah routines. I'd pretend to stall, not understand questions, etc. and have a little fun a time or two, but I'd not do it the entire time and I could still win on certain points, although I took it as a matter of personal pride when I lost a debate and still walked out with best speaker! Our governor isn't joking and she seems consistently dumbed-down. She doesn't know how to debate or answer questions.

Paul Begala has ten rules for winning a debate right here. I especially like what he says about wit. What he didn't say is that the reason humor goes far is that it makes people feel good. People will repeat a funny story or anecdote even if it is against their own person because it is something that makes them smile. He also speaks of creating moments-- the media will play and replay them. Sarah is not creating moments of intelligent ideas.

Sarah does not want to be pinned down by answers. Watching her interview with Katie Couric is downright painful.

She is failing on questions you know she has to have been prepared to answer. Katie has got be one of the easiest people to talk to. Watch her answer about the economy! She is going "round in circles 'til she's very, very dizzy" and she's got me grabbing my desk to stabilize myself! Why is she giving Tina Fey so much ammo? What is up with how she speaks? Her voice is getting grating. Has she always spoken like this? It seems like it's gotten worse.

Is this a plot by the Republicans-- of which party I was very much involved with for all of my adult life up to this point-- to keep the focus on them and not on the Democrats? Even though Sarah is terrible, imitation is still the best form of flattery. Indifference would kill the ticket.