Monday, March 23, 2009

G-d Grant You Many Years, Tiger!

Tiger is 20 today. She doesn't read my blog but I wish her a G-d grant her many here because I hope y'all send her happy vibes!

OK, turning 40 almost 4 months ago made me feel kind of old. Having my eldest child turn 20 is an age marker and I feel old, although a couple of weeks ago when we went shopping for paint, a sales lady at XXXXXX thought that she and I were sisters and that Starshine (who gloms on to her when she is home) was Tiger’s baby! If Tiger turning 20 makes me feel old, I will be a bit blue in 17 years when Starshine turns 20. Something tells me that no one will think that we are sisters then . . . I will miss her when she leaves for Wyoming to fight fires. I wish that I had the money to buy her a return ticket home or me a ticket to fly down to see her at the moment she needs me, but I have faith that she won’t need it. Of course she will not need me. Right? (Tea bursts into tears!) The kids all love her so much. She is a ray of sunshine and sweetness. A bit oblong in this world of circles, but she comes by it naturally. She says she is not worried because she knows I will pray for her 24/7-- I told her that this is a bad insurance policy!

She was born the day before the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill. My ex bought a pearl necklace for me and I was really embarrassed because we were borrowing money from my parents to pay doctor bills. Everyone said that he doted on me, but he did that because he wanted to look "big"-- he was that way. My then-husband was bragging about what he spent, slapped me across the face for asking him to return it so we could pay for doctor bills and get the necklace in 10-20 years when we could afford it, and he'd scream at me for not wanting his pushy mother around us for our "Candle Light Dinner." She was ten years older than I am now, but she was as mature as a 2 year old. I still don't like her, but I don't need to worry about that because both of my daughters are now over 18 and she is OK to them-- manipulative as hell, but they know how to handle her because I raised them.

I would try to quietly divorce her father a few months later. My parents wanted me to stay with him, "reasoning" that if I wasn't calling the police that I must have deserved to be slapped and simultaneously asking why I kept the bloody necklace when begging for money that they didn't expect to ever get back. I had always thought that my dad would have killed anyone who hurt me, but he tried to guilt me in to staying with him. That was a long time ago.

I remember birthing Tiger like it happened yesterday. I was in a c-section and I wasn't "out"-- I could still hear and feel, but as much as it hurt, I was thankful to G-d that I could be present. The doctor was not related to me, but I told her that my baby was claustrophobic and that she'd be big. The doctor said that she never had big babies and she was a bit bigger than I was so mine would be small and that she couldn't be claustrophobic. She weighed 9.8 and would not be swaddled when they tried to! I was right! I knew!

I do not know how many more times I will see her. She came home yesterday, very much excited and hoping to pass the test (running 3 miles with 45 pounds on her back 25 minutes in a few weeks) and can’t wait to go to Wyoming. We get 20% off at her store on a special night and she is bringing us to there to shop for our bathroom remodel. . . this may be one of our last projects with her before she starts having children of her own and hopefully comes home. I so much worry about my children being as disjoined as my sisters and I. She says they won’t be, that my kids are as much her kids in some ways because she helped out so much and would quit college to care for them if G-d forbid anything happened to Darin and me. (And I have whined about a lack of career!)


Ropi said...

Happy Birthday to her. Did you know Exxon is the 3rd largest multinational company? I am preparing to my Geography final exam adn i read that.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Exxon is huge but it just paid off the people who it wronged, sans interest while it held everything up in litigation. People have killed themselves over things that happened.

Phil Munger is a fantastic blogger who knows a lot about Exxon-- he is a bit too liberal for my personal taste, but he is VERY informed and very experienced and if I agree with anything conservative, I see what Munger thinks to get the other side.

Ropi said...

Well, I can say he uses the right for free speech extendedly. I just deleted my blog. I found it quite pointless. If I have something more worthy to write about, I may set up an other one. On the other hand I am a bit busier than I calculated in the begining of the year.

Olivia said...

Is Tiger training to be a firefighter?

I admire her courage. All of you seem to have nerves of steel in your family though! Glad you got out of the first abusive marriage and are finally happy.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Thanks, Olivia! I don't deserve my husband-- he is a good guy!

Tiger is physical. She is not very tall, but she can carry her own weight and no man would worry to have her as his back-up. I think that it's not that she wants to fight fires so much as she thinks it would be fun to run around a forest with a hose and gear on her back! She gets excited talking about weight lifting.

steve on the slow train said...

I remember reading that Exxon executives chose the name because it was meaningless in all languages. I believe it was originally Standard Oil of New Jersey, (Esso), and it merged with another Standard Oil company, that went by "Enco." Apparently Enco meant "stalled car" in Japanese. Exxon seemed not to want to stand for anything, or, later, take responsibility for anything.

Best of birthday wishes to Tiger. With Olivia, I'm glad you got out of that abusive marriage.

Olivia said...

Wow, well I admire her for it! I really do.

You might not believe this but after high school I tested pretty high on the ASVAB and nearly got recruited into the USN.....Yeah, I know!!

So that's why I admire girls who do these things.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

I admire her for it, too, Olivia! She loves this kind of stuff. I wanted her to get into dancing in high school and she'd not but I knew she'd love it so I joined a break dancing class. I was in with the elementary schoolers and ridiculous, but I'd come home and show my kids what I was learning. Tiger was like, "Like this?" and she'd do it.

I complained about looking silly-- I knew I did look silly, but I didn't care and after 6 weeks I came home in tears because my dad was dying and I had to drop out and I'd lose all the money that I'd paid. She said she'd take over the class if they'd let her. I acted like I didn't want her too, no it was too hard, but she asked if she could go in my place. Having missed the first 6 weeks, she got in to the HS class and was spinning like a top at the recital! (I knew she would.) She is an adventurer!

I don't doubt that you maxxed the tests, Olivia-- you'd have been VERY good in the USNA and great as an officer.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Oh-- had my dad not been sick, I was looking for another excuse. I was going to go in in crutches to see if I could get out of it. I wanted her in it.

Olivia said...

She danced too? For how long?

Oooh, don't remind me. They wanted me in the nuclear power program, I actually had an engraved invitation on cream card!

My mother wouldn't let me go. After I asked her about it last year she told me it was because she felt I was too naive and young. Ah well...I guess that will be the one big thing I wish I had done.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

My parents were convinced that I'd be PVT Benjamin and I didn't go in. I was going to do languages. They said that I couldn't handle it-- I think I would have been fine. If I can change diapers for three little kids consistently for three years, I can do just about ANYTHING! That was probably worse than mucking through training.

Olivia said...


And thus we transfer some of our ambitions onto our children and so it goes down the line.

steve on the slow train said...

Ropi--Your blog will be missed. Your post on Emperor Joseph II was very well-written and informative. If you start blogging again, make sure you put a comment on this blog or Szelsofa's, as I read both.