Saturday, September 08, 2007

My Eldest is Back for an Evening

I so much enjoy my children. I am often overwhelmed but they are a joy to behold. Today I went to town and picked up my eldest and brought her home for the evening. She is a trip and a half. She is having fun in college and still makes time to come home to see her brothers and sisters. Of course this evening she is spending time with her Mormon friends. They are having a young people's dance. She left in my April Cornell Nothing Matches Skirt and a top and jacket that match. On her feet-- she wore sandals with foot socks. I would have never ever dressed like she does, but from the ankles up, she looked great. I asked after her outfit and she said, "I'm not there to be looked at-- I am going to see my friends." I love her nonchalance. Every minute she spends fussing over herself, she is loosing time with her friends, several who are going on Missions soon.

I'm envious of people with good marriages. I so much loath my husband. He must dislike me as much. I know why people have leave their spouses and children for others-- to find happiness any way they can get it. Tonight he started mocking me in a high pitched voice, "Will you do this? You forgot to do this! I need this! Ooooh! I'm so helpless!" Who else can fix the phone jack? Why must I beg him to fix the bathroom wall or do things that I just need him to do? Why do I have to ask him ten times to do something, yet when he sees me do it he sluggishly gets up and does it and degrades me for how I've done it? I can give him basic instructions on doing something and then ten minutes later he comes in and says, "How do I do this?" I feel like he is sabotaging my attempts to do school. Why can't he find someone who he respects and fall in love. He was so nice and fun to be with when he was in love with me! I felt high energy being with him. Now if we are getting along and I think we get along, later he finds something wrong with it.

The weekends are too long.

1 comment:

Anne said...

Oh, I wish I had something good to say, other than, "I'm sorry." Some men, with regard to the, "Honey-do" list like having it written down, some like to be asked verbally, some like to work together. . .I find that my husband likes it if I make him a list and ask him to do it in the next two days. That way he has a deadline, but I'm not nagging him. Hmmm. . .I doubt this will help.