Thursday, January 01, 2009

The Joy of Writing Bad Sex, Coming Home, Sending Horses to an Indoor Arena, Corsets, etc.

I came home to find sick kids. Last night my husband did not have a good time. After I left something emphatically hit a few of the kids and they were in bed or asleep on the couch. They are fine but sleeping a lot.

I threw out my back while straightening up Danille's tack room. Not wanting her to know, I didn't get aspirin at her place and kept up massaging her. Anything I feel with my back is minor. My back pain is an 8 and will be an 8 for a few days, but hers will be at a 10 until the cold snap is over and will probably take several more days for her to recover. Her husband and kids came home when I found out that if they signed the contract early that they could get her horses in to an indoor arena for a couple of months. He'd been wanting to do this but she didn't like being far from her equine babies! They will only be a few miles away but women and their horses have a pretty strong bond. He wanted to get them over before Danille changed her mind and he was too happy to get back early.

With my back hurting but me still doing what I was asked to do, I was taking extreme care of it. I don't bend, I swoop, using my legs. Danille thought this was great, "Honey, watch Tea! She has perfect posture when she shovels manure!" I couldn't even grimace as I chipped manure to demonstrate my perfect posture lest they catch on! She knew that I'd gone to finishing school when we were in high school and she was laughing, "I can't believe how you are so perfect in negative weather!" Perfect in negative weather-- ah, that's me!

I corset, so swooping without bending is something that I have learned to do when laced up. Last year I was going to get surgery because birthing 9 kids took a toll on my bladder control. Six weeks after starting to tight lace, I didn't need the surgery that was to sling my bladder up. Swooping without bending my back for 6 weeks did more for me than doing over a million Kegals over the previous 10 years. I look atthat surgery that I was to get and I am flabbergasted that in the time it takes to recover from the surgery, I solved the problem with a corset! Aside from me having zero recovery time, it cost way less than the surgery would have cost, too!

Steve at On the Slow Train sent me to Eudaemonia's article on writing about sex. This was helpful. She also directed her readers to Elizabeth Benedict's Joy of Writing Sex. Before I go any further I am going to buy this book next week.


Anne said...

Hmmm. . .I'll remember this bit of knowledge for future patients. "Remember the corset? That G-d forsaken torture device? Well, I think it's just the thing for you." Do you think I'd get slapped?

Tea N. Crumpet said...

LOL, Anne! I think you should throw something on the ground and ask them to pick it up, then if they bend over, comment on how they are supposed to pick things up and how it will strengthen their pelvic floor!

I just read up on that surgery. I had read up on it, but I felt that I needed it so I didn't absorb it. You go home with a freaking catheter attached to you, then you stay there for a week or so, get dressed (cath still inside you and outside you) and return to the doctor to have it removed. You have a month or so after that where you don't pick anything up that weighs more than ten pounds. What a mess!

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Oh-- you can always send them to my dink of a massage teacher who said that he could have just fluffed my aura to fix it.

Anonymous said...

Interesting day you had! I haven't had the chace to e laced up. But, seeing as how I'll be doing burlesque on the side, I'd better get used to the idea. Thanks so much, for the link.

You take care, of that back. Swooping is elegant, but comfort is key. :)

Olivia said...

It's true, corseting and finishing school teach you how to swoop and how to properly pick up things. No bending. Walk as though your head is attached to the ceiling with a string.

Were you living in Alaska when you went to finishing school?

I hope you and your family get better soon.