I'm sitting on a rock at a fork in the River of Life

Today my husband took the kids and himself to his sisters. I am chilling out. I woke up after keeping him up most of the night with my coughing. He gave me some cold medicine and a drink with alcohol and handed me a sleeping pill. I needed it. I feel much better.

I am contemplative.

There are three things that I can see myself doing as a career.

1. Writing grants for a hospital or any organization (I can keep up with my English degree and stop here if I want. I love college and cannot stop. I am an academic.)
2. Massage therapy because I love it (I need massage training which is expensive and my husband needs to replace his car as it's been totaled out with 250,000 miles and everything has been breaking. I have some money left over but I need to put it into my husband's car more than me.)
   
3. Art therapy (requires a master's degree and I get to not get out of art. I have a college chosen.)

My husband called me up and he is my #1 supporter. If I was married to me, I would divorce me. He needed to take one of my daughters someplace from his sister's house and he called me and pulled over to ruminate over what I was thinking. Part of my English degree requires that I do a professional writing gig someplace. I am already working with the hospital to volunteer. Hopefully after I am there for a few months I will be able to meet someone who writes grants and let me arrange an internship. He said I can prove myself and be open for a job "wherever" after I graduate and pay for grad school.

The massage school would be great but he asked if I can take sporadic classes offered to the public for "fun" like couples massage and sports massage for lay people and just practice on him and let him work on me. That is great. He doesn't think that I would like simply working on people all day, that I'd wind up being like dental assistants who are needy and walk to talk to me and I am wanting to scream, "Shut up and work on my mouth!" (I wind up switching dentists when they do that.) He says my temperament is interactive and sometimes contemplative, but that massage is too introverted for me to do eight hours a day.

He says that I am an artist. He said that when he met me that I was stunning and pretty and "full of creative life force" and that he cannot see me not doing art. He says that art in all it's forms is what I am about. I said it is expensive but he said that it is what I am meant to do. He says that art shines a light for others to see and experience life and that I can help people learn to use it and do some good work myself. Sometimes I tell him about things that I want to create and he says he was often thinking of me doing the same thing. He says that my muses bug him when they don't get my attention and he says something like refers to a song, "Could you draw that?" and I get spooked because I was thinking of it. I do not understand it. He says I have to run with it because I am supposed to.

I was grateful for him talking to me.