Sunday, August 10, 2008

I Sometimes Don't Get Along Well with Others

I was at my children's charter school the other day to drop off some paperwork. One of the teachers asked me if I could stay for a couple of minutes because he had a contraption that I'd appreciate that he wanted to show me. Cloud came in and said that everyone was acting crazy in the Diva so I went out-- kids' body parts were flailing around and I started laughing and hollered, "OK, you guys! Knock that sh-- out, you are providing proof that man descended from orangutans!" They heard me through the open windows and started laughing and stopped. I told them to give me five more minutes, and we spoke for a moment on how to not act. ("We are not supposed to get into your purse and get our allowance early!" "I can't pull Cloud's hair!" "We can't give Basil a wedgie!" That always gets them laughing. I'd come back and they'd tell me what they didn't do. I'd take them to Dairy Queen, they thought it was because they'd behaved but I was just enjoying them.)

Yes, I use words that are considered curse words, but I am not swearing. It's just getting to the point. I was not brought up to swear and I don'tknow from where the words come, but it's how I speak. I went back into the school. A mother was very upset. "Do you believe in. . . evolution?" My mind was in the teacher's office and she may as well have been speaking to me about invaders from Mars. I looked at her and said, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

In stilted words she acted appalled that I. . . spoke. . . about my children . . . and all mankind. . . descending from . . . apes. I told her that I don't believe in Evolution. We are past that. I beleieve in deevolution and that they get it from their father. (My husband knows that this is a joke-- when the kids do things that infuriate me but are funny, I tell him that they must get it from his side. Had I meant it, I'd have said nothing.)

I went back and the teacher showed me his latest LEGO creation-- it was seriously cool with a remote control. (He let me play with it before I had to go.)

On my way out, the secretary who'd gotten an earful from the woman I'd spoken to said that she never knew from which field I was coming and was laughing about it. ("That makes two of us.") I often cover my hair unless I don't, I am usually very mellow except for when I am not, my kids are pretty good except for when they are not, etc. The kids came in to use the bathroom and she and I started talking about people. It seems like many turn into charicatures of themselves, "I'm this way and this is how people who are this way act." They only act in a box. It's painfully annoying. I can't change them, but I'll be damned if I try to blend in with bland or be something I'm not.

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