I cannot go through with it. This isn't the right time. Do I need to be in a real fix?
I called the doctor this morning and told his nurse I'd schedule the pre-operation stuff. She'd told me that it was just a bunch of paperwork and would last fifteen minutes. She knew that I had a class the night before my surgery and said to come in right before since I was doing stuff that day.
I was like, "Cool-- I can come in today and take it home, sign it and take it back in a week."
Oh-- this had to be done 48 hours before. Then she told me the rest of the story-- I needed an EKG, a blood count, etc. I flipped out! What's all this other crap that she wanted?
I started asking more questions. She knows that I attend school two days a week in the next city and intend to continue in the spring. "How long will I be recovering?" Oh-- all of Christmas break and then right before I can see the doctor and he may approve me to return to classes, but I need to not be upright too much. WTF! I have a 90 minute drive each way those days!!! "Can't you lay down and put the seat back?" She thought my husband would just. . . drive me to and from school! ARGH!
I was freaked out by the EKG anyway.
When I asked her what would have happened when I went in to get my paperwork before class where i have a monster final, She casually said that she didn't know-- she hoped that I'd respect the doctor not being able to get another patient in and go through with it and tell my prof that I needed to take it later! She is a nursing school graduate. She knows that you don't skip out on finals unless you are dying!
Anyway, I had a test in toay. For the past few days I have been frazzled about this operation and didn't think I was learning anything. I think I did well on it. The operation is a HUGE deal. I'm glad I decided to not do it, but the doctor's nurse tried to talk me into getting it done. For whatever reason, I am simply not ready. Next time this comes up I will know what is happening and not be so thrown off.
For now. . . I am forgetting about this and worrying about school. Fiddle-dee-dee.