Saturday, November 10, 2007

Poster Girl for Planned Parenthood

I wish my house was a duplex and that I had a door inside in the middle and could separate my children. A casual fun time with a few of the kids to go sledding turned into the 8 year old whitewashing the 11 year old.

I'm trying to do my schoolwork. Chaos reigns around me. My husband is in our room watching videos on his laptop that he claims has confidential information on it that no one can access yet he watches all kinds of things on it-- music, shows, nothing gross as far as I know. I think it's BS to keep us all way from his computer. He can't come out here and play a game with the kids and keep them happy, can he?

My almost 10 year old son has moderate special needs. He gets mad, cried and blows snot out of his nose. I can hardly touch him, he is so gross at times. He had candy in his backpack and the others were yelling about it and I asked to see it-- a couple of pieces I'd not mind him having, but a bigger bag he should share. He started screaming and sat on his bag. I found some behavior contracts online and we have filled some out. They are for teachers, but I am his mother, the ultimate teacher. So far the notion on me saying to use an inside voice when he starts to yell and squeal is not working. He's having a hard time grasping consequences. He wanted me to work out a behavior sheet with his next younger brother, the kid who prides himself on catching his teacher's mistakes. OK, I turned to him, "Honey, will you please sign a contract to not scream and toss tantrums?" We wrote it up and he wanted me to put him outside in the dog house if he breaks it, "You like to tease us about being in the dog house and I won't really do throw a tantrum anyway. Let's put on there that you will put frogs in my bed!"

I had threatened military school where to my tantrum tossing scion and that he would leave all of us for months at a time. He said I'd not do it so after I put him down to a nap I looked online. He sneaked in here and saw me online and decided that I was serious and started to cry. I held him but didn't say I'd not send him off. It is really tempting.

It's sad because this particular son cannot handle things going nicely. I wonder if he is just a little odd duck or if he really has problems. At school he seems fine, but puberty is hitting.
He is not a typical boy because I know what normal boys are like and he's just "off." The next five to seven years will be fascinating. I hope they will be good.

My others are great-- it's 'nowing today and the younger ones love it but are convinced that it's cold outside because I'd talk about snow and say, "Brrrr!" and shake. Now they do the same. It's cute.

TeaCup is still sleepy and not feeling well, but i think she's enjoying the attention of being sick. In the midst of this she sits on my lap and cuddles as I do my school work. I sometimes think that it was easier with just two little ones as a single mother, then three. It's more difficult at times being married because you have another child with your other half being one. If you are rattled he calls you the child!

Alas, this will pass. I will get my degree and be in a position to pay off my student loans and then contribute to the family and perhaps set something aside for retirement. I wonder if my son with special needs will be able to live on his own or if we will deal with this for a short while. The longer it goes on, the more I think he will be living with some other men his age. This makes me very sad for him, but we have to do what is best for him.

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