Thursday, November 29, 2007

Miss Kaydence

A six month old baby was killed by her biological father about a week and a half ago. In her picture, she looks like any other six month old baby. Her father apparently lost his temper. Big guy, beating up on a baby like that-- she would have survived and he'd have not gotten the longer sentence that he'll get had he just taken her to the hospital. I will think of something to say about this, but I keep looking at her picture. She looks like any of my own children. Her mother buried her the day after Thanksgiving.

I temporarily lost my two eldest in a custody battle a few years ago. It's hard to disprove things that never happened. The judges never investigated anything my ex said which would have helped me and my daughters and proven my ex a liar. Instead, the battle solidified our relationship and they came home as soon as they could on their own which I took as having a bigger blow to my ex and a higher honor to me, but I'd have rather not fought the battle. The ex hired a mock counselor who blabbed to him and his wife everything my daughters said and they had school teachers thinking they were saviors. (Their bio father criticized them for learning foreign languages and tried to convince them that they had his learning disabilities! His wife had eating issues and she accused my daughters of getting fat at her house and making themselves throw up when it was her doing that! They did gain weight-- and she made a huge issue of being smaller than them. She has ISSUES.) The ex's wife had all sorts of issues that are finally coming to a fore. My ex husband was violent and broke my bed, he shoved me and destroyed things and I got out-- no paper trail, no cop calling,I just got the hell out when the kids were little.

Did this young lady's mother tell the courts that the father of this sweet baby was violent and did they not believe her? Of course I am putting my own issues on her. Maybe she had no clue that he'd be mean. It doesn't matter.

Anyway, my heart is broken-- the baby is safe in Heaven-- but she should be here, getting ready to celebrate her first Christmas. How does one's mother survive such grief? (How will her biological father come to terms with this? Was this uncharacteristic of him to be violent? Was he having a crappy day and a crying baby just hit the wrong chord with him? Did he think less of her because of her mother seeing someone else or not being in love with him? We will never know and it doesn't matter.) I still cry for my miscarriages. How do you get over such a loss and not being able to help your child?


Emperor Ropi said...

Well, I may sound heatless but I don't mean to be. It is not the first time that a baby is murdered by a parent.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

And it won't be the last time I make a card for it's mother. The holidays hit me the hardest.

Dan said...

I still cry for my miscarriages. How do you get over such a loss and not being able to help your child?

Don't try to get over it Hon. Just breathe, in and out. You may never get over it. And that's OK. You have a huge heart and it's tough having a huge heart sometimes. Hugs.