Last night I had two White Russians around 4pm then a couple of sips of wine at midnight. I am not able to sleep. My husband is blissfully snoring and unaware of my discomfort. I'm tired but wired and I cannot make myself fall asleep. If I get up I will awaken everyone.
When I need to take a nap and TeaCup, Dash and Boom-Boom (usually one of the three) has to lay down with me because they are not listening to "play quietly so mama can rest" they will lay here and stretch and look at me. . . put one leg into the air and then another. Open my eyelids to tell me that they are ready to get up. . . the thought crosses my mind to do this to my husband but I won't. I envy his sleep in a good way! (I also want to keep my marriage intact.)
2007 was a great year. I look forward to it building up to a fantastic 2008. I'm really excited about what will be happening in the coming years. So often with having children you can forget about time flying. You see it, but it's all about you being pregnant or not pregnant and the house falling apart around you while you go from making sleek gourmet meals to attract your husband to making macaroni and cheese because you just don't have the time to do anything else. (Fortunately I encountered my blogging friends who inspire me with trips and events so I decided to make myself create again!)
Sunlight is coming back to my state and in a month I will feel it. In two months winter will be almost gone. In three-- I will be lamenting having no money for my yard! I will be excited as the birds come back, tell my husband how I wish I had time for falconry and we will take the kids on long walks in our area.
I may also get paid for teaching some art classes.
My dad died at the end of 06. I said I'd be a doctor and find a cause for cancer and we were looking at medical schools online in his last days. He just wanted me to get my degree. My dad drove me nuts with having horses that were too good for his children to ride. I realized that I wasn't sharing my art and in the last year I have let my own children use my expensive art supplies and I've bought them cheaper ones where I could. I learned from what I think were his mistakes.
I had wanted to learn Russian and do a lot of things that I am having to let go of, knowing that they may one day be great hobbies but for now there is no time.
My kids who once had special needs are taking off-- still a little slow, but they are growing faster. My kids without special needs are freaking brilliant.
My husband and I are getting closer. Relationships change with time. We are getting out of exhausted parents mode and having more fun with the kids as they get older. TeaCup is probably going to be a bit spoiled. She gives orders and has a way with pointing her index finger, turning her cute little hand down at the wrist and and closing her eyes as if to say, "I have spoken." Then she turns on a heel and walks away. I pick her up and give her kisses. Her little gesture may one day get annoying but for now I don't mind. I have a four year old who is destined to be either a lawyer or a philosopher. They are all fun. My 18 year old is making me understand why my parents were worn out from my older sisters by the time they got to me and I just hope I can hang in there!