Last night I had two White Russians around 4pm then a couple of sips of wine at midnight. I am not able to sleep. My husband is blissfully snoring and unaware of my discomfort. I'm tired but wired and I cannot make myself fall asleep. If I get up I will awaken everyone.
When I need to take a nap and TeaCup, Dash and Boom-Boom (usually one of the three) has to lay down with me because they are not listening to "play quietly so mama can rest" they will lay here and stretch and look at me. . . put one leg into the air and then another. Open my eyelids to tell me that they are ready to get up. . . the thought crosses my mind to do this to my husband but I won't. I envy his sleep in a good way! (I also want to keep my marriage intact.)
2007 was a great year. I look forward to it building up to a fantastic 2008. I'm really excited about what will be happening in the coming years. So often with having children you can forget about time flying. You see it, but it's all about you being pregnant or not pregnant and the house falling apart around you while you go from making sleek gourmet meals to attract your husband to making macaroni and cheese because you just don't have the time to do anything else. (Fortunately I encountered my blogging friends who inspire me with trips and events so I decided to make myself create again!)
Sunlight is coming back to my state and in a month I will feel it. In two months winter will be almost gone. In three-- I will be lamenting having no money for my yard! I will be excited as the birds come back, tell my husband how I wish I had time for falconry and we will take the kids on long walks in our area.
I may also get paid for teaching some art classes.
My dad died at the end of 06. I said I'd be a doctor and find a cause for cancer and we were looking at medical schools online in his last days. He just wanted me to get my degree. My dad drove me nuts with having horses that were too good for his children to ride. I realized that I wasn't sharing my art and in the last year I have let my own children use my expensive art supplies and I've bought them cheaper ones where I could. I learned from what I think were his mistakes.
I had wanted to learn Russian and do a lot of things that I am having to let go of, knowing that they may one day be great hobbies but for now there is no time.
My kids who once had special needs are taking off-- still a little slow, but they are growing faster. My kids without special needs are freaking brilliant.
My husband and I are getting closer. Relationships change with time. We are getting out of exhausted parents mode and having more fun with the kids as they get older. TeaCup is probably going to be a bit spoiled. She gives orders and has a way with pointing her index finger, turning her cute little hand down at the wrist and and closing her eyes as if to say, "I have spoken." Then she turns on a heel and walks away. I pick her up and give her kisses. Her little gesture may one day get annoying but for now I don't mind. I have a four year old who is destined to be either a lawyer or a philosopher. They are all fun. My 18 year old is making me understand why my parents were worn out from my older sisters by the time they got to me and I just hope I can hang in there!
6 comments:
Tea- here's to an even better 2008.
Great "meeting" you this year in the Blogosphere!
rick
I pounced back atop the blogosphere. It's been a busy time, but I'm crawling back into the sun. . .or shrinking less into the hole. I'm glad to hear that things are going well. When I read your blog I'm not sure whether I should have children or a tubal ligation!
I would not trade what I have now. There is no regrets because my husband and I based on what we felt (did we use The Force?) and not religion or anything people advised us to do, did what we felt was right for us. Had my father not gone off at me and ordered me to get my tubes tied, I'd have stopped at five and probably been happy.
Know that people are going to have opinions. If God-forbid you have one, people that you know and don't know (NOT US!) will say you are being "selfish" for not having more. People that you know and don't know will tell you that you are over populating the planet if you have more than one. For these idiots, whether you wear glasses or not I suggest that you buy a pair to wear and push them up with your middle finger so you can flip them off without them realizing it until later, "Was she flipping me off? Her glasses kept sliding. Hmm."
Everyone with an orifice will have an opinion from the time you chose a name. . . on. If you breast feed for three months they will say you should have breast fed longer. If you don't breast feed at all the same people will PLEAD with you to just try it for two weeks. On names-- everyone knows a jerk with the name you are giving your child and will want to tell you about it. I now tell people about great people I know with whatever name they are choosing-- I make it up if I have to.
You Anne are going to be a fabulous doctor. I suggest that you have one child and see what you think-- you won't regret it if your husband is on board with you. Say something like, "The Lord gave us one epiglotis and that means we will have one child." No one will know what you are talking about and smile and run to look up "epiglotis."
Happy New Year 2008.
if I were you I would rather call them Belorussians and not White Russians.
Tea,
I've been away from my favorite blogs because I've been working on the Dickens Challenge--mystery writer Tim Hallinan's challenge to try to write a novel the way Dickens did--one chapter a week, with no going back and revising.
I have a little bit of a break right now, and I just wanted to wish you a happy 2008 and to say that I admire you for your determination to get a degree and for having a large family at a time when some people would call you a baby machine. A friend of ours was called that, and she had only five. I can tell that all your children are loved and wanted--that counts more than the number.
--Steve in the Midwest
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